


thought it'd be cool in college

by Jules1398



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: College, Friends to Lovers, Long-Distance Friendship, M/M, Mutual Pining, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-25
Updated: 2018-08-04
Packaged: 2019-06-15 23:44:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 16,752
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15424275
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jules1398/pseuds/Jules1398
Summary: Everything was supposed to be better in college, but Jeremy had a hard time believing that now that Michael was all the way on the other side of the country.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> i did a lot of pointless research with their schools and wrote all of this bitch in like 5 days (it's 16.7k lmao rip) so i hope y'all enjoy it <3 <3 <3  
> [come say hi!](http://transjonas.tumblr.com/)

College was supposed to be better than high school, but Jeremy thought that was a crock of shit because it was a Saturday night and his only plans were to play games on his laptop until like two in the morning, just like he had the night before, last week, and the week before.

His roommate was in a frat, which made him pretty grateful. He was never around as it was and he’d be moving into the house next semester. He pretty much hated Jeremy and thought he was a complete loser, but that just meant he was around less.

As for academics? It had taken two weeks for Jeremy to drop his major and become undeclared. He was initially registered as a theater student, but quickly realized he wasn’t dedicated at the same level as the other students were and, frankly, what were the chances of him getting a job as an actor anyway?

So, he took gen ed classes he hated, talked to nobody, and played video games. College had managed to be worse than high school. He wished he had a car so that he could go home every weekend. Hanging out with his dad would be more exciting than this.

He booted up his computer and opened Steam when there was a knocking on his door. Christ, had his roommate locked himself out again?

But, when he opened the door, it wasn’t his roommate standing there, but Brooke, his only friend from high school that had gone to the same college.

“We’re going to a party,” she informed him.

“Have fun,” he replied before attempting to close the door, but she stuck her hand out to stop him.

“You are part of the we, Jeremy,” she continued. “Put on something decent as in not sweatpants and no stains. You need to get out.”

“I’m fine,” he protested.

“You’re miserable,” she said crossing her arms. “You need to get out and make some friends here or you’re going to drop out by the end of the semester.”

“What about me makes you think I’m miserable?” he asked.

“Name one other friend you have here besides me.” His silence answered for him. “Jeremy, I know I’ve been busy between my engineering classes and my sorority, but if you need someone to chill with, you can always reach out. I’m taking the initiative this time and you’re coming. When was the last time you got laid?”

“Never,” he mumbled.

“ _ Never? _ ” she said in disbelief. “You dated Christine for like three months!”

“She didn’t want to,” he said with a shrug. “It’s fine I just jer-”

Brooked shoved her palm over his mouth. “Please do not finish that sentence. We’re going to go out tonight and you’re going to find someone to hook up with.”

He groaned. “But, Brooke, I don’t know if parties are really my scene.”

“You always came to parties in high school,” she pointed out.

“Because I wasn’t alone,” he replied.

“I’m here,” Brooke reasoned.

Jeremy sighed. “But you’re good at this stuff. I need someone who’s hopeless like I am.”

Brooke frowned and her voice went soft. “Michael is in California, Jeremy. You can’t spend your whole life waiting up for him when he’s across the country.”

“Chloe is in New York. You don’t understand what it’s like,” Jeremy said. “You can visit her any time you’d like. I don’t want your pity.”

She rolled her eyes. “I’ve hung out with Chloe like twice since we started school, so don’t give me that. I still let myself have a life when she’s not here.”

“You can’t drag me to the party if I don’t want to go,” he argued.

“You’re right,” she said with a nod. “But I can call my girlfriend and she can make you go. Chloe doesn’t mess around.”

He put his hands on his hips. “What can she do from New York?”

“Fine,” Brooke said, dialing Chloe’s number and putting her on speaker.

“Hey, babe!” she shouted into the phone over whatever party she was at. “What’s up?”

“I was going to go to this party with Jeremy but he says he doesn’t want to,” she informed her girlfriend. “He’s on speaker right now if you want to talk to him.”

“Jeremy get your ass dressed and go to that party,” Chloe ordered. “Michael is in Los Angeles. Boohoo get over it. He goes out and has fun with his college friends and he wants you to do the same.”

“Chloe, it’s not that deep,” he lied. “I just don’t want to go.”

“Fine, I’ll text Michael and just let him know that you never get out,” she said. “Maybe he can convince you.”

“No!” he shouted. “Fine. I’ll go, but I’m not going to enjoy it and I definitely won’t be hooking up with anybody.”

“Alright, you two have fun and stay safe!” she chirped before hanging up.

“I just let her manipulate me into doing this, didn’t I?” he sighed.

Brooke smiled. “You have two minutes to get dressed.”

He went back into his room and tried to find something party worthy in his closet. He decided on dark-wash jeans, a plain gray t-shirt, and a green flannel that was probably originally Michael’s but got left behind in the move.

Jeremy opened the door back up and Brooke pushed him back inside, grabbed his comb, and fixed his hair. “Perfect. I know you said that you wouldn’t be hooking up, but honestly, you look good and can probably get anyone you want there.”

“Whatever,” he sighed.

* * *

The party was in full swing by the time they arrived. It was at some house on the other side of town from campus, so hopefully it wouldn’t get busted. Brooke dragged him over to meet some of her sorority friends and he didn’t remember a single one of their names.

After escaping them, he made his way to the kitchen to grab a beer. He screwed the cap off and took a sip, hiding his grimace. He really hated beer, but it was the drink of choice for most college students.

Jeremy leaned back against the counter and pulled his phone out. One notification. A snapchat from Michael. He smiled as he opened it, seeing his best friend’s face on the screen. He was sitting at his dining center and grinning. He’d probably be partying that night too, but it was three hours earlier there, so it wouldn’t be until later.

He mustered up an awkward smile, making sure to get his beer in the picture, and hit the capture button. He captioned it “brooke dragged me to this dumb party send help” and sent it.

“Hi!” chirped a voice from beside him. It was all he do to prevent himself from jumping as he looked down at the girl beside him.

She had dark skin and a short afro. The girl looked super familiar, but he couldn’t quite place where he knew her from.

“Hi,” he echoed, smiling out of politeness.

“I think we’re in the same English 1010 class,” she told him. “My name is Penny. I sit on the far left of the room.”

Oh, that was where he knew her from. He offered a hand for her to shake. “I’m Jeremy from wherever there’s room since I can’t manage to show up more than two minutes before class starts.”

She laughed as she shook his hand. “Yeah, that’d probably be me if my Type-A roommate wasn’t in the class.”

“So how are you feeling about Plato’s  _ Symposium _ ?” he asked.

“It’s certainly an odd book,” she replied.

“Good to know,” he said with a smile. “I haven’t read a word of it.”

“So, are you here with anyone?” Penny asked.

“Oh,” he said, blinking in surprise that someone actually seemed interested. “I came to the party with my friend, Brooke. She kind of had to drag me here. It’s not really my scene.”

“What is your scene then?” she asked, taking a step toward him. Jeremy wished that he wasn’t backed into the corner so he could step back.

He chuckled awkwardly. “I mean, I just like chilling in my room and playing video games.”

“That sounds like fun. What do you play?” she asked, reaching forward to play with his sleeve.

“I have a boyfriend,” he blurted out, even though it wasn’t true. “He goes to school in California, so that’s why he isn’t here.”

She backed away. “I’m sorry, Jeremy. I’m kind of drunk and I thought-”

“It’s fine,” he assured her. “You seem nice enough, but it is what it is.”

Brooke chose that moment to burst into the kitchen and grab Jeremy’s arm and he wished he could verbally thank her.

“Jeremy, you’re going to pretend to be my boyfriend,” she informed him. “This frat boy won’t leave me alone.”

“Your boyfriend won’t mind?” Penny asked.

Jeremy looked pleadingly at Brooke who raised her eyebrow before smiling and replying. “His boyfriend went to high school with us. He knows how incredibly in love I am with my girlfriend.”

Brooke pulled him away. “Why did you tell her that you had a boyfriend?” she asked. “Because I’m fairly sure that was a lie.”

“She was flirting with me,” he answered.

“Yes, that’s why I brought you here, Jeremy,” Brooke replied. “She’s cute, looks like fun, and is into you.”

He shrugged. “I guess I’m just not that into her.”

Brooke sighed. “You could have just told her that. Now we have to go to a whole new party to get you someone to hook up with. Are you looking for a guy right now?”

“I’m not looking for anyone,” he huffed.

“Michael isn’t here to be your wingman, so I’m all you’ve got,” she reminded him.

“He would have done something that we both enjoyed instead of dragging me to some dumb party,” Jeremy pointed out.

“If he was here you would have come to the party willingly,” Brooke reasoned. He hated that she was right.

“Brooke, I can’t-” he mumbled. He knew that she was right and he couldn’t wait up for Michael to have a life, but he just wasn’t ready to go to parties without him and try to make new friends.

She frowned and stepped toward him, wrapping him in an awkward hug. He was too tall and she was too short, so it meant she was on her tiptoes and he was leaning over.

“Let’s go back to the dorms and watch a movie,” she suggested. “I was thinking of driving home next weekend if you want to come with. This party wasn’t your scene, but one with Rich and Jenna might be better, yeah?”

He nodded. “Yeah, that sounds nice.”

Brooke hooked their arms together and sent an angry look at some frat boy as they left the party together. At least Jeremy had one friend.

* * *

After another boring week of classes, it was Friday night and Jeremy found himself sitting in Brooke’s tiny car as she drove them back to their hometown.

“Can you please not tell any of them about the fake boyfriend thing?” he requested.

She hummed. “But it’s funny. They’ll appreciate it. I mean it was just you trying to fend off some flirty girl.”

“I mean it,” he insisted. “Don’t tell them.”

“Why not?” she pouted. “It’s just some arbitrary dude you made up. Let me guess: he lives in Canada.”

“California,” he sighed. “I panicked and told her he lived in California.”

Brooke took her eyes off the road for a moment to gape at him. “You told this random stranger that you were dating  _ Michael _ ?” she laughed. “Jeremy, she doesn’t even know who he is.”

“I panicked!” he exclaimed. “And you know what’ll happen if Jenna finds out. She’ll tell everybody and that includes Michael himself. I don’t want him to know how pathetic I am without him.”

She frowned. “Jeremy, you know Michael wouldn’t judge you. You were just trying to get rid of her and he’s the first person to come to mind since you miss him.”

“Please, Brooke,” he asked one last time.

Brooke reached over and squeezed his shoulder. “Don’t worry, Jeremy. Your secret is safe with me.”

She dropped him off at his house and he grabbed his duffle bag full of laundry out of the back and walked toward the house.

“See you tomorrow night!” she called. 

He waved and made his way to the door, sliding his key into the lock. The house was silent when he walked in, so Jeremy wondered if his dad was still at work. It was about dinner time, though. He should be back.

Jeremy wandered into the kitchen and what he saw worried him. The entire room was littered with dirty dishes and take out containers. He opened the fridge and it was empty except for an expired gallon of milk, a jar of pickles, and some mandarin oranges.

He crept up the stairs and dropped his bag in his room before peering into his dad’s room. He was asleep, so Jeremy quietly shut the door and went back downstairs into the kitchen.

He started by throwing away the milk and scattered garbage and then got to scrubbing the dishes. He hated doing the dishes, but his dad needed someone to do it. He hadn’t been like this since Jeremy’s mom left.

After he was done with the kitchen, he started a load of laundry, cleaning both his own clothes and his dad’s. Once that was in the wash, he ordered pizza from his dad’s favorite place. He would have rather gotten groceries, but he didn’t have his license, so he had no way to get them.

The pizza arrived and he paid the delivery man before setting it on the table and walking back upstairs to his dad’s room. God, it kind of reeked in there.

He sat on his bed and lightly shook his arm. “Dad?”

“Jeremy?” he replied. “I didn’t know you were coming home. I would have cleaned up a little for you.”

“It’s okay, Dad,” he replied. “I ordered dinner if you’re hungry.”

Jeremy’s dad hauled himself out of bed and they walked downstairs together and into the kitchen.

“You didn’t have to clean for me,” he said as Jeremy handed him a plate.

“It wasn’t a problem,” he assured him. “We should go to the grocery store tomorrow morning and get some real food, yeah?”

“Sure,” his dad replied. “That’s probably a good idea. It’s just been easier to buy food lately.”

“I can live at home if you want,” Jeremy suggested. “If we get up early enough, you can drop me at school before work.”

His dad shook his head. “Don’t worry about me, Jeremy. You need to get a good education and the best way for you to do that is to stay on-campus.”

Jeremy didn’t have the heart to tell his dad how awful his college experience was going, so he just replied with a worried, “Alright, Dad.”

“College is your ticket to the future,” he reminded him. “Even if you don’t know exactly what you’re going to study yet, you’ll find your way.”

He nodded in response and took a bite of his pizza. He was happy to be home even though home was crap right now and he wished he could stay forever.

* * *

Brooke arrived at seven o’clock the next evening. He had just finished the dinner he cooked with his dad, so he was all set for a night of fun with his friends.

He climbed into the passenger seat and buckled up before turning to Brooke, who was already peeling out of his driveway.

“Where is this party anyway?” he asked.

“Rich’s place,” she replied. “His parents are out of town and his brother bought booze for him, so it’s time to live it up.”

“And Jenna’s coming?”

“Yep,” Brooke answered. “And some kids from their community college. Oh, and Jake.”

Jeremy raised his eyebrows. “Jake hauled his ass all the way down from Boston for a party?”

“Rich’s parents aren’t home this weekend,” she reminded him. “I think they wanted to take advantage.”

“Ah,” he replied, catching her meaning. Rich and Jake were in love in the grossest way possible. And they had been together for over a year.

She had to park on the street because his driveway was full. The party was loud as hell and Jeremy just hoped that it wouldn’t get busted.

Brooke knocked politely even though he was pretty sure people had been letting themselves in.

Rich answered with Jake’s mouth pretty much attached to his neck. “Sup guys!”

Jake popped his mouth off long along to say, “Long time no see!” before bringing it to Rich’s mouth and then they were just standing there in the doorway, making out.

Brooke wrinkled her nose. “God, I hope me and Chloe aren’t that gross.”

“It’s impossible,” Jeremy said as they pushed past their very in love friends to get inside. “They’re next level.”

They went into the kitchen to drink and Jenna was already standing inside. She wrapped both of them in huge hugs. “My very best friends are here!”

“Are we your very best friends, though?” he asked.

Jenna shrugged. “It doesn’t matter. Did you hear the news about Christine?”

“No, what is it?” Brooke asked, even though whatever Jenna was going to say was probably supposed to be a secret.

“She has a new boyfriend,” Jenna informed them. “He’s in one of her theater classes, but get this: he’s a  _ junior _ .”

Brooke’s jaw dropped. “Damn, Christine!”

“Why wouldn’t she tell me?” Jeremy mumbled with a frown.

“I think she was afraid you’d be jealous,” Jenna replied. “Or think he was better than you or something. I don’t know.”

He crossed his arms. “Why would I be jealous? The breakup was mutual and it was over a year ago.”

Jenna shrugged. “I don’t know, dude. At least most of us are getting laid, though. You’re next bro.”

“Not at the rate he’s going,” Brooke joked. “This boy does  _ not  _ party.”

“The vibes are coming your way, Jeremy,” Jenna told him. “Christine’s got a man. Brooke and Chloe have each other. Rich and Jake are, well, Rich and Jake. Michael had a date the other day, and I’m hooking up with whoever I please.”

Jeremy blinked for a moment. “Michael had a date?”

“You didn’t know?” Brooke asked. “He’s been hanging out with a guy in his honor’s class and they had a real date a few days ago.”

Jeremy frowned. “He didn’t tell me.”

“I’m sure he just forgot,” Brooke assured him. “I mean, I found out through Chloe anyway.”

“But he’s his best friend I don’t get why he wouldn’t-” Jenna began before she was met by a glare from Brooke.

“So, what’s going on guys?” Rich asked as he walked into the kitchen with Jake beside him, an arm around his waist.

“Nothing much!” Brooke chirped.

“Did you know Michael had a date the other day?” Jeremy asked, cutting to the chase.

“Yeah, of course,” Rich replied.

“He asked me for tips,” Jake told him with a nod.

“Unbelievable,” Jeremy muttered, hurt that his best friend would tell all of their other friends before him. “I need a drink.”

He reached for the tequila but Brooke pulled it out of his grasp. “You shouldn’t drink when you’re sad.”

“I’m not sad,” he lied.

“I feel like I missed something,” Jake said.

“Michael told everyone except Jeremy about his date,” Jenna explained, earning another glare from Brooke. “What? He asked!”

“He probably didn’t want to tell you until it was official,” Rich said. “You guys are buddies and he probably didn’t want you to get excited too early.”

“Yeah, I mean he wasn’t even sure about going on a date with that Preston guy,” Jake added. “He was just giving it a shot and seeing how it went.”

Jeremy pushed past his friends and walked down the hall. Brooke called after him, but he didn’t turn around. He made his way into one of the bedrooms and locked the door behind him before laying on the bed and pulling out his phone.

His thumb hovered over Michael’s contact for a moment. He wasn’t sure if he should just let it go. There was a loud knocking on the door which might him jump and hit the call button. Great.

“I’m on the phone,” he called to the person on the other side before bringing the phone to his ear.

Michael picked up on the fourth ring. “Hey, Jeremy! What’s up?” he greeted.

“I just wanted to chat,” he replied. “It’s been a while since we last talked on the phone.”

“Aren’t you at Rich’s party though?” he asked.

“It’s not the same without you,” Jeremy sighed. “I miss you.”

“I miss you too, Jer,” Michael replied in a soft voice. “LA is fun and all, but it sucks being so far from my best friend.”

“It looks like you’re doing pretty good out there,” Jeremy noted. “I heard you had a date the other day.”

“I did, but I really don’t know if I want a repeat,” Michael told him.

“Why not?” Jeremy asked. “Is the guy like super weird or something?”

“No, he’s a great guy,” Michael replied. “He’s been one of my closest friends here and I really like hanging out with him.”

“What’s the problem then?” Jeremy asked. He was digging his nails into his palm even though he knew he should be happy for Michael.

He heard Michael sigh on the other line. “I don’t know, I just can’t see us being together as more than friends.”

“I mean, just do what’s best for you,” he replied. “And you don’t have to worry too much about the future yet.”

“So, you think that I should go on a second date with him?” Michael asked in a voice that was completely unreadable.

“I think you should do what makes you happy,” Jeremy answered, squeezing his phone in his tight grip.

“I don’t know what makes me happy,” Michael said. “I want to know what you think. Sometimes you get me better than I do.”

Jeremy bit the inside of his cheek before responded. “You didn’t want to know what I thought when you told all of our friends about the date but didn’t tell me.”

“Jeremy,” Michael said softly. “I don’t know why I didn’t tell you. It was stupid.”

“And you thought I wouldn’t find out?” he said. “You know how Jenna is.”

“I didn’t think it would matter all too much,” she said. “I should have told you, but I was scared.’

“Scared of what?” Jeremy asked.

“I don’t know!” Michael practically shouted on the other end.

“Well, you’re right. It doesn’t matter and I don’t care,” Jeremy spat angrily. Michael started to say something, but he didn’t give him the chance. “Have fun with  _ Preston _ ,” he added before hanging up.

Jeremy rolled over and screamed into one of the pillows. He and Michael had never argued like this before. The last time their friendship had been this much of a mess was the whole squip disaster. Now Jeremy kind of wished he still had the ability to block out Michael. Maybe it would be easier that way.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> jeremy is a disaster bi huh  
> he's eating orange beef bc i wish i was >:)  
> [come say hi!](http://transjonas.tumblr.com/)

“You should just call him,” Brooke suggested. “You’re on opposite sides of the country. This stupid fight is driving an even bigger wedge in your friendship.

Jeremy instantly regretted agreeing to study with her in the library. They weren’t even in the same classes, but she thought he could use the company. He should have rejected it.

“What would I even say?” he asked her. “I’m still hurt that you told everyone with me about your date? That’s bound to go well.”

She rolled her eyes. “You know, you could always apologize to him. From what he told me, you were kind of rude to him on the phone.”

“I was justifiably upset,” he reasoned.

“You can both apologize to each other and be the happy boyfs again,” she suggested.

He crossed his arms. “Brooke, you know it’s not like that.”

Not that he didn’t want it to be. Because sometimes he thought it would be pretty dope the kiss and cuddle Michael, but that was never gonna happen.

“It was a joke. No need to get all up in arms about it,” Brooke replied. “You seriously need to take a step back and think about how combative you’re being. If I’ve learned anything from what Chloe has told me about her psych classes, this is an unhealthy way of coping with your best friend being far away.”

“I don’t need to cope. I’m absolutely fine,” he argued. “We’re here to study, so let’s get to work.”

They studied in silence for a while, neither of them even looking at one another.

After a bit, Brooke tapped Jeremy’s shoulder and nodded behind her. “Isn’t that your friend from the party?”

Sure enough, Penny was sitting a few tables down, probably working on the same essay as him.

“I should go talk to her,” Jeremy muttered. If Michael is brave enough to go on dates, then I can be too.”

“She thinks you have a boyfriend, though,” Brooke pointed out. “You’re either going to look like a cheating liar or you can tell her the truth which, no offense, is going to seem kind of pathetic.”

“I’ll figure it out,” he told her, gathering his things and making his way over to the table that Penny was sitting at.

“Hey,” he greeted. “Sorry about the other week. I kind of left in a rush.”

“You have a boyfriend. I get it,” she replied. “I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable. I’ve just seen you around class and I thought you were cute.”

“Well, actually we broke up almost a week ago,” he told her. “You know how distance is. He moved on without me.”

Penny frowned and set her hands on his arm. “Jeremy, I’m so sorry.”

“It’s okay,” he assured her. “It was probably going to happen eventually. I’m pretty much over it now. I can’t put my whole life on pause just because of some guy.”

That’s exactly what he had been doing for almost two months now. Things had only started actually happening due to spite and Brooke’s persistence.

“Good for you,” Penny said with a smile. “God, I was a mess when my last boyfriend broke up with me. I wish I had the same mentality that you do now.”

“You’re over him now, though,” he pointed out. “Everyone processes things at their own rate.”

“That’s very true,” she replied. “You’re a smart guy, Jeremy.”

“Thanks,” he said. “I was wondering, and I’m sorry if this is too forward, but would you ever want to go out sometime.”

She blinked. “Wow, are you sure that you’re ready for that?”

He nodded. “I’m over him after what he did to me. I’m ready for someone better. Someone like you.”

Penny blushed. “I think that would be really nice.”

She grabbed his arm and scribbled her number on it in pen. “Call me when you’re ready to set something up.”

He walked back to Brooke with a smug smile and pointed to his arm. Her jaw dropped.

“How did you manage to do that?” she asked. “Jeremy, please tell me you didn’t drink any Mountain Dew.”

“I’m not that stupid,” he argued. “Maybe I actually have some game in this lanky body of mine. Besides, you know Baja Blast fried that thing forever. Taco Bell is out there doing some real good for humanity.”

She shook her head. “I still can’t believe you risked everything for tropical Mountain Dew.”

“Brooke, I would risk death for Baja Blast,” he said seriously.

Brooke rolled her eyes. “So, are you going to text her?”

“I’ll do you one better,” he replied with a smirk. “We’re going to go on a date. I just have to figure out where.”

“Well, if you’re thinking about taking her back to your room, then you should invest in some Glade,” Brooke told him. “It smells like sex in there and I know for a fact that your roommate isn’t around and you’re not getting any so that means-”

“Okay, I get it,” he interjected. “I’ll clean it up.”

“So, are you going to tell Michael about your date?” she asked. “I mean, you’re this mad about him not telling you, so not doing it kind of makes you a hypocrite.”

“Or it makes us even,” he argued. “I’m not telling anyone myself. You can free feel to tell whoever. I don’t care.”

She frowned. “Actually, are you sure this is a good idea?”

“The best one yet,” he replied, shoving his stuff into his backpack. “I’m going back to the dorms. See you around.”

He knew Brooke’s worried eyes were following him out the door, but he didn’t bother turning around.

* * *

Jeremy was shocked when he didn’t get a text from Jenna about it in the next couple of days, but he supposed that Brooke had been over her gossiping phase by the time senior year rolled around. Chloe definitely was still a gossip, but they weren’t the kind of couple that would risk jeopardizing friendships to tell each other unimportant things.

But apparently that didn’t stop her from telling Michael because he got a call from him a few days later.

He let his phone ring for a while but eventually relented and picked up. “Hi,” he greeted.

“Hey,” Michael replied. God, Jeremy missed his voice. “I heard that you have a date on Friday, so can we just call it even and put this behind us. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, Jeremy.”

“It’s okay,” Jeremy replied. “I’m sorry for getting so mad over something so stupid. You have your own life over there.”

“Yeah, but you’re going to be a part of my life no matter what, Jeremy,” Michael promised. “No guy could get in the way of our friendship.”

“So, are you going to go out with him again?” he asked.

“I think so, yeah,” Michael replied. “Try a second date and see how it goes. But anyway, tell me about this girl.”

“She’s nice,” he said with a shrug that Michael couldn’t see. “We’re in the same English class and I ran into her at a party that Brooke dragged me to.”

“Oh, was it the party the week before you went home for a weekend?” Michael asked. “When you sent me that snap?”

“Yep,” he replied. “She flirted with me there but I kind of panicked and told her I was in a relationship.”

Michael laughed. “You need to learn to accept affection better, dude. So, how did you end up winning her over for a date after that?”

He laughed. “I told her that I broke up with you.”

Jeremy slapped his hand over his mouth after he said it and Michael went silent on the other end for a moment.

“You told her that you were dating me?” he asked.

“I panicked!” Jeremy defended. “And it literally happened seconds after I sent you that snap. You were on my mind.”

Michael laughed and Jeremy couldn’t tell if it was genuine or not. “No worries. It sounds like something that would happen to me.”

“Anyway I scored a date with her when I ran into her at the library, so I’m taking her out for dinner on Friday night,” Jeremy told him. “I’m excited. I haven’t been on a date since I was Christine.”

“Are you sure you’re not doing this as retaliation for her getting a new man?” Michael asked.

“I literally have no romantic feelings for Christine,” Jeremy said. “I’m happy for her and I’m glad she’s doing good in New York.”

“Me too,” Michael said. “I miss all of you so much. I can’t wait until December when I can come back home.”

“What about Thanksgiving?” Jeremy’s face fell. He had really been looking forward to seeing his best friend in a few weeks.

“We don’t get the full week. It’s too expensive to fly home for just a few days,” he explained. “You know I wish I could come home, but we really just can’t afford it.”

“I understand,” Jeremy replied. “So, what are you going to do for Thanksgiving then?”

“Probably just stay here. Like half my friends are in the same boat,” Michael replied. “My older sister wanted to come out and visit, but she couldn’t get the time off work.”

“I’m sure you’ll have a good time anyway,” he assured him.

“I hope so,” Michael sighed. “I just want to play  _ Apocalypse of the Damned  _ with you. I’ve barely touched my console since I got here, which is ironic considering I’m majoring in game design.”

“Trust me, when you get home, we’re going to be spending hours upon hours playing at my house,” Jeremy promised.

“I’m going to hold you to that,” Michael replied. “Talk to you later, Jer.”

“Bye, Michael,” he said with a smile.

But it was after the call ended that some of Michael’s earlier words sunk in. Was he just going on a date with Penny because Michael was dating a new guy?

* * *

He decided to take her to a nice Italian restaurant in town. It was his first date in a long time, so he might as well go all out.

Jeremy wore a nice shirt and tie and his best pair of slacks before walking over to her dorm and picking her up in the lobby. She looked beautiful in the plain black dress that she was wearing.

“You look really pretty,” he told her honestly as they walked toward the restaurant.

She blushed. “Thank you. You don’t look bad yourself.”

They walked into the restaurant and were seated right away. They were both 18, so they got soda to drink. Jeremy couldn’t help but think that if he were here with Michael, he would have found a way to get them something stronger.

“So, Jeremy, what are you majoring in?” Penny asked.

“I’m undeclared right now,” he told her. “I was in theater originally, but it wasn’t for me. What about you?”

“I’m studying international relations,” she answered. “I want to be able to travel the world someday. I just don’t like being pinned down to one place, you feel?”

“Yeah,” he lied. Traveling for vacation was fun and all, but he wasn’t sure he’d want to do it all the time for his job. Jeremy liked stability. “Tell me about yourself. Where are you from?”

“Rural Pennsylvania,” she replied. “I hated it. I wanted to move somewhere bigger and, well, New York is too expensive, so here I am. What about you? What’s your origin story?”

“Nothing all too exciting. I grew up like an hour away,” he shrugged. His real origin story would probably entail the squip, but she would just think he was insane. “I wish I had exciting motivations for coming here like you, but my motivation was in-state tuition.”

“So, tell me Jeremy, what’s the craziest thing you’ve ever done?” she asked. “I want to know about your adventurous side. I can already tell that you’ve got a secret wild side.”

He didn’t really have one at all and, again, telling her about the squip wasn’t an option, so he unbuttoned his sleeve and rolled it up his arm, exposing his Pac-Man tattoo.

“My best friend, Michael, has a matching one,” he told her. “We got them in secret when we were 16. It probably cost us twice the normal amount, but we found someone to do it for us.”

“Shit, I’ve always wanted a tattoo, but I’m a bit of a wimp around needles,” she said, marveling at the ink on his arm.

He shrugged. “It wasn’t all that bad,” he lied. It had hurt like a bitch. “If you want a tattoo, then you should do it. Just make sure you choose something special to you.”

“Is Pac-Man special to you?” she asked as he pulled his arm back and buttoned his sleeve back up.

“My tattoo is special because I know that he has the same one,” he explained. “No matter where we are, we’ll be connected.”

She smiled. “That’s cute, Jeremy.”

They chatted until their food came out and then dug in, still stopping to talk about whatever. It was pretty chill and Jeremy was actually having more fun than he expected.

And then his phone started buzzing loudly in his pocket.

He pulled it out to see that Michael was calling, but rejected the call and turned it off before shoving it back in his pocket.

“Sorry,” he apologized. “I think Michael wanted to call to wish me good luck or something. Sometimes he forgets that we’re three hours behind here. I swear, at the beginning of the semester I got so many weekday 1 AM phone calls.”

“Three hours?” she asked with raised eyebrows. “As in, like, Pacific Time? As in California?”

His eyes widened when he realized his mistake, but he regained his cool. “It’s complicated. I’m over him, but I’m still trying to be his friend.”

“Okay,” she muttered, seemingly unsure.

“Penny, if I didn’t want to be here with you, I wouldn’t be. He’s nothing to me,” Jeremy said, which was once again a lie. Michael was everything to Jeremy.

By the time the finished their meal, they had moved past it and started having fun again. Jeremy just wished he could just completely wipe Michael from his mind for those few hours.

* * *

Chloe came down the next day to spend the weekend with Brooke since her roommate had gone, so they invited Jeremy over to hang. They probably just wanted to get all of the juicy date details from him.

When he arrived, there were takeout containers filled with Chinese food all over. Jeremy just about died, it looked so good.

“We got you orange beef,” Chloe informed him, nodding over her shoulder.

“Have I ever told you how much I love you?” he replied.

“Probably once or twice, but I’d sure like to hear it more often,” Chloe said. “Get your food and sit your ass down. We have some catching up to do.”

“I was right. You did invite me here to harass me into telling you all about my date,” he sighed.

Chloe raised her eyebrows. “You had a date?” she turned to Brooke. “Did you know about this, babe?”

“Yeah,” Brooke said with a shrug. “It wasn’t really important so I didn’t tell anyone except Michael.”

“Which you shouldn’t have done,” he complained. “It’s none of his business.”

“You told me I could tell whoever I wanted to,” Brooke reminded him. “I thought telling Michael could be useful and I was right since you two made up.”

Chloe turned to Jeremy. “Well, you walked yourself into this. Now you’ve gotta spill every fucking word.”

“There’s not much to spill,” he told her. “We went out to dinner and chatted. It was fun and I think we might be hanging out again.”

“She’s handling your pretend breakup well?” Brooke asked.

Chloe grinned and widened her eyes, probably desperate for whatever gossip.

“I mean, I definitely fucked that up,” he admitted. “But it seems like she was able to move past it after a bit of awkwardness.”

“Back it up,” Chloe said. “You need to tell me how you met this girl and what this fake relationship business is about.”

“We’re in the same English class and I ran into her at that party you manipulated me into going to,” he explained. “She flirted with me and I panicked so I told her I had a boyfriend. In California.”

“No!” Chloe gasped. “You told her you were dating  _ Michael _ ?! That’s kind of adorable but just make up someone like a normal person.”

“How many times am I going to have to explain that I was literally panicking,” he said. “Anyway during our date, he called and I accidentally let it slip that he was three hours behind us and she put the pieces together about the fake boyfriend being him. We moved past it though!”

“Jesus Christ, Jeremy, you are the definition of a disaster bisexual,” Chloe laughed, pulling out her phone. “Jenna is gonna get a fucking kick out of this.”

Brooke snatched the phone from her hands. “Don’t you dare tell her. She’s going to tell everyone and he doesn’t want Michael to know.”

“It’s fine,” Jeremy told her. “He already knows. I told him.”

“You told him?” Brooke asked.

Jeremy shrugged. “I mean, it’s Michael. Of course I told him.”

Chloe shook her head. “You two are so fucking codependent. It’s a miracle you survive being so far apart.”

“He barely does,” Brooke said with a frown.

He glared at her. “Brooke, I am  _ fine _ . I’m going on dates, aren’t I? That’s healthy college behavior!”

“Sure,” she mumbled. “How are things going with your major?”

“Same old, same old,” he replied poking at his food. “Still haven’t told my dad, but he’s been doing less than fantastic and I don’t want to make things worse for him.”

“What about his major?” Chloe asked looking between them. “I swear, I’m just a few hours away and I miss everything.”

“I dropped theater,” he told her. “So, I’m currently undeclared and have no idea what I want to do. I told Brooke and Michael and that’s it.”

“I knew you wouldn’t be able to stick to theater,” Chloe admitted. “I know you liked it in high school, but it’s not you, Jeremy. Not that I know what you should be studying.”

“I’m ready for winter break,” he sighed. “Video games and Michael. No worrying about school or girlfriends or my dad struggling to get by without me.”

“We’re not even at Thanksgiving yet, bud,” Chloe reminded him, even though he very much knew that was true. “You’re only in college for so long. You should try and enjoy your time here.”

“I’m trying my best,” he said with a smile that was less than genuine. They could tell and he knew it, but they chose not to comment on it.

Chloe launched into a story about one of her psych classes. After a while, Jeremy’s smile became real. He really did love his other friends, even if his closest friend was far away.

* * *

The next week, Brooke invited Jeremy along to another frat party. This time he brought Penny with him since they had been growing a lot closer the past week. A party was a nice, easy date even if there was the distinct possibility that the party sucked his soul from his body.

A few of her friends were at the party, so she began by introducing him to them. He was a bit panicked, so he didn’t remember a single one of their names, but he could probably pick out about half of them in a crowd.

He got a few drinks in him, played some beer pong with Brooke, and overall had a pretty good time. He had never enjoyed a party this much unless Michael was with him, but he was doing better now.

Jeremy got drunk, which was something he hadn’t done in ages, and it was actually kind of fun. He wanted to scream and sing and dance with all of his friends and his sort of girlfriend.

“Penny!” he shouted upon spotting her in the kitchen. “You look like a princess!”

She gave him a strange look. “Jeremy, I’m wearing jeans.”

His jaw dropped. “Are princesses not allowed to wear jeans? What do they wear for casual events?!”

“You’re right,” she laughed. “I guess princesses can wear jeans.”

“Did you see me playing beer pong with Brooke?” he asked. “I think she’s mad because we lost.”

“We can’t be good at everything and you’re not great at beer pong,” she replied. “Brooke won’t hold it against you.”

“You really think so?”

Penny nodded. “She’s a good friend of yours. I don’t think she’d get all too mad over a stupid game. Besides, she keeps looking over to you to see if you’re okay.”

“She’s still worried about me,” he sighed. “I told her I was doing okay, but she thinks I’m a lying bitchface.”

“Is this about your ex?” she asked. “I thought you said that you were over it.”

“I did say that,” he confirmed. “And I  _ am _ over it. Brooke just doesn’t believe me. Michael is my best friend still, even if we’re moving on and apart.”

“Do you miss him?” she asked.

He nodded. “Yeah, I mean in a strict friend sort of way. Like, he’s so far now and we used to do literally everything together. High school sucked for us for the most part and we went through some major shit as juniors that kind of ruined everything, but made it stronger in the end.”

“And now everything is fucked again,” she filled in. “Because he cheated on you.”

“He never cheated on me,” Jeremy confessed. “We were never together. I just told you that because it was my first party in forever and I was freaking out. He’s my best friend and he’s doing fantastic and he’s got a boyfriend and everything here fucking sucks.”

She frowned and put a hand on his shoulder. “It’s okay, Jeremy. If he’s your best friend, distance isn’t going to ruin your friendship. Besides, you have me now. And you have Brooke as a friend.”

“I just want to see him,” he sighed. “I want to play video games with him and I want to search for obscure retro shit with him and I want to fucking hug him!”

He was getting louder and it must have caught Brooke’s attention because she was walking in their direction.

“I think that’s only natural, Jeremy,” Penny assured him. “You miss your best friend.”

“What’s only natural?” Brooke asked, sending a worried look Jeremy’s way. She must have figured out that he was ranting about Michael.

“That I’m in love with Michael,” he mumbled.

Her eyes widened.

“What the fuck?!” Penny exclaimed. “You’re in love with him? Are you fucking using me to make him a jealous or something?”

“No,” he said. “He has a boyfriend, so I’m getting a girlfriend. I’ve gotta get over him!”

She crossed her arms. “So you’re using me to do that? I don’t want to be your test subject, Jeremy.”

“Penny, I-” he began, but shut his mouth. He had nothing to say to her because nothing she said was wrong.

Penny nodded. “Fuck you, Jeremy. Have fun finding your own seat in English on Monday because I’m sure as fuck not saving you one.”

She stormed off and Jeremy let her leave. She was right. It wasn’t fair that he use her like this.

“You can still storm after her if you want to,” Brooke told him.

He shook his head. “I don’t even like her that much. She was just there,” he admitted. “Can you not tell the others, please?”

“They don’t need to know this,” she replied. “You can tell them when you’re ready.”

“Fuck,” he muttered. Tears were begging to well at the edges of his eyes. “I have feelings for him.”

Brooked stepped forward and wrapped him in a hug. “It’s okay, Jeremy. He’s an amazing guy, you’re allowed to love him.”

He pulled away after a moment. “He has a boyfriend,” he reminded her. “Besides he’s my best friend. I can’t risk losing him.”

“No matter what, you aren’t going to lose him,” Brooke assured him. “Michael cares about you, Jeremy. If you really needed him, he would drop everything and fly here in the drop of a hat.”

“He needs to live his life,” Jeremy sighed. “He’s at an amazing school studying for his dream job. I’m on the other side of the country. I can’t be the one to make him lose his dreams.”

Brooke nodded in understanding. “Well, make sure you keep your own dreams in mind too,” she said. “Now, let’s get home, yeah?”

She hooked her arm around his and together they began the long trek home, but he couldn’t get his mind off of Michael the entire walk back. Jeremy Heere was completely and utterly fucked.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i was going to update on tuesday but i've been on a writing kick and work has been hectic, so i forgot to actually post this prewritten chapter until today. oops. i'm still aiming to post the final one on saturday tho!  
> [come say hi!](http://transjonas.tumblr.com/)

As soon as Jeremy got up the next morning, he packed his duffel bag and hopped on a train headed toward his hometown. He needed space from school for the rest of the weekend and going home was the obvious solution, even if it wasn’t the brave one.

He got off of the train and called Rich, who picked him up and dropped him at his house, thankfully without asking why he had come home.

The house was a hell of a lot better than the last time he was there. The kitchen was mostly clean and there was food in the fridge. It was still a little bit messy, but it always was. Jeremy’s dad was nowhere to be seen, but he hadn’t asked his dad what his plans were before showing up.

Jeremy decided to go up to his bed and take a nap because he was still pretty hungover and sad. He dropped his duffel bag on the ground as soon as he walked in and flopped down on his mattress.

He took his phone out of his pocket and placed it on his nightstand but paused. There was a framed picture there. A picture that had always been there. It was of him and Michael at their middle school graduation, both grinning from ear to ear. Man, they really had no idea what was going to come next, and after that, and after that. They were still a mess.

Kicking off his jeans, Jeremy settled into his bed for a nice long nap. Hell, he’d be happy if he slept for the rest of the week. Fuck classes and fuck everyone at that stupid college.

* * *

When he woke up, it was already dark out. He had forgotten how damn comfortable his own bed was. He was super hungry, so he wandered downstairs to eat whatever required the least amount of preparation.

His dad was sitting in the living room, watching a college football game on TV. He looked over, seeming concerned. “There’s pasta in the fridge. Why don’t you heat some up and come watch the game with me?”

“Okay,” Jeremy said with a nod. He walked into the kitchen and grabbed the tupperware container of baked ziti out of the fridge, piling some on a plate before sticking it back in the fridge. He heated up his food and returned to the living room, sitting sideways on the couch.

“How’s it going kid?” his dad asked.

Jeremy shrugged, shoveling a forkful of pasta in his mouth.

His dad frowned. “Jeremy..” he started, but trailed off.

“Seems like you’re doing better here,” he mumbled.

“I’ve been taking care of myself a bit better since your last visit,” his dad confirmed. “I think I just kind of realized that you’re growing up and that I need to grow up too. You have your life at college and I have to have my own life here.”

“I’m happy for you,” he said before stabbing his pasta again and eating some more.

“Jeremy, you’re not wearing pants,” his dad stated.

He raised an eyebrow.

“When your mom left, I didn’t wear pants for months because I just couldn’t muster the energy to put them on,” he said, as if Jeremy wouldn’t be able to remember. “Now, you’re doing the same.”

“Dad, I’m fine,” he protested.

“Jeremy, you came home from school out of the blue and slept the entire day,” his dad pointed out. “You know that you can tell me anything.”

“Fine,” Jeremy said, setting his food down onto the coffee table and sitting up straighter. “College is shit. Literally nothing in my life is going well. In fact, I’m not even sure I have much of a life at all.”

“Jeremy, that’s nonsense,” he argued. “You have friends there and you’re studying something that you enjoy.”

“I have Brooke and that’s it,” he sighed. “And I dropped my major over a month ago. Theater isn’t for me, but I have no idea what is.”

“Why didn’t you tell me about dropping theater?” his dad asked, furrowing his eyebrows.

“I wanted to tell you I changed my major rather than just getting rid of it,” he explained. “Except I never found something that I liked enough to study.”

“And I thought you said you were seeing a girl?” his dad asked. Jeremy regretted ever texting his dad about anything.

“She dumped me last night because I was a dick,” he told him. “I used her as an attempt to get over someone else, so she had a right to be pissed. It didn’t work anyway.”

“If you want to come home more often, you can,” his dad reminded him. “I’ll always be here for you, son.”

“Thanks,” Jeremy muttered, returning to his dinner. 

They watched the rest of the game together in comfortable near-silence, with occasional cheers and shouting at the TV from his dad. It made him wish he still lived at home.

After the game ended, Jeremy’s dad tossed him the remote. “I know that you’re probably still wired from your five hour nap, but I’ve gotta hit the hay.”

He nodded and his dad started toward the stairs.

“Dad?” he called. 

The other man stopped and turned toward him. “Yes, Jeremy?”

“I think I’m in love with Michael,” he confessed. “And it sucks.”

“I know,” his dad sighed. “What are you going to do about it?”

“Nothing,” Jeremy replied. “It’s not worth the risk. And, besides, he’s like three-thousand miles away.”

“I can’t tell you what to do, but I think you’ll figure things out eventually, one way or the other,” his dad told him.

“I love you, Dad,” he said,

His dad smiled. “I love you too, Jeremy. Have a nice night.”

Jeremy’s dad walked up the stairs and he turned back toward the TV, turning on some cheesy horror movie to pass the time until he was tired again.

He wished that he could go back in time and tell Michael how he felt a year ago, but he had still been figuring things out then. Now it was probably too late.

* * *

Jeremy didn’t text any of his friends the entire weekend other than the single text he sent to Brooke telling her that he’d gone home and he was safe. He didn’t much feel like talking to anyone other than his dad. He wished he could talk to Michael, but he couldn’t for obvious reasons.

He was a bit of a wimp, so he skipped his English class on Monday. He knew that Penny probably wouldn’t look at him, much less talk to him, but he was still terrified of facing her. He’d have to get over it by Wednesday. Skipping too many classes could totally kill his grades.

Chemistry was the only other class he had on Mondays. The lecture went like it normally did. He took notes for ten minutes, napped for 30, and desperately tried to catch up for the last ten. And yet he wondered why he was barely passing.

After chem, he went back to his room and flopped onto his bed, finally opening his other texts from over the weekend. He got one from Brooke telling him to stay safe. Three from an evidently drunk Penny calling him an asshole. A meme from Rich. A few snaps from his friends who were probably pissed at him for breaking all of their streaks.

And five missed calls from Michael.

He supposed that Saturday calls were usually a thing that happened between them and he hadn’t provided an excuse for them not to happen.

Jeremy rolled onto his back and dialed his best friend’s number, bringing the phone to his ear. It was probably a bad idea, but he just wanted to hear his voice.

“Hey!” Michael said after the second ring. “I was starting to worry that you were ignoring me, but Brooke said you were busy at home last weekend.”

“Yeah, I was,” he lied. He had spent the entire weekend sleeping on the couch and watching TV with his dad.

“You’re going to have to tell me all about it and about how things have been going with your girl,” Michael said. “But first I’ve been wanting to tell you something all weekend.”

“What is it?” Jeremy asked, curious as to what was making Michael’s voice buzz with excitement.

“I finally had my first kiss!” Michael announced.

Jeremy’s heart sunk to the pit of his stomach. “Yay!” he fake cheered. “Congratulations!”

“Thanks!” Michael replied. “I honestly wasn’t expecting it to happen so fast, but he took me to the beach and we watched the sunset together and it just kind of happened.”

“That sounds romantic,” he noted. Yet another reminder that Michael most certainly could do and was doing way better than Jeremy.

“It was,” Michael said with a breathy sigh. “What about you? How are things going with Penny?”

“Fantastic,” he lied. “We haven’t kissed yet, though. We’re taking things slow. She thinks it’s more romantic that way. I went to a party with her last Friday. It was fun.”

“I’m glad you’re having a good time back in Jersey,” Michael said. “God, I was worried when we chose schools on opposite ends of the country because we’ve never been apart for more than a week since we met, but we’re both doing pretty good anyway.”

“You always said we’d be cool in college,” Jeremy reminded him. Michael was wrong. He was cool in college, but Jeremy was still the loser that he’d always been.

“So, what were you doing last weekend?” Michael asked. “What made you too busy to answer the phone?”

“I was helping my dad’s friend move,” he lied. “I had to lug furniture around all day and by the time I was done, I was so drained of energy that all I could do was fall asleep.”

“How’s your dad doing?” Michael asked.

“A lot better,” Jeremy replied. “He’s taking care of himself now. There was food in the fridge and the kitchen was fairly clean, so I think he’s finally been able to accept that I’m a big old college student now. I even told him about the whole dropping theater thing and he understood.”

“That’s good,” Michael said. “You’ll find your calling in no time, Jer.”

“I hope so,” he sighed. “I don’t want to waste too much of my time here. My scholarships only apply to the four years I’m supposed to be here.”

“Yeah, I feel,” he said. “I couldn’t afford a single semester here if the school wasn’t paying for most of it.”

“You’re smart as fuck, Michael. You deserve it,” Jeremy said with a smile because, even though his own life was shit, Michael’s was a lot better and Jeremy was proud of him.

“Yeah, well most of my classmates seem to be a lot smarter,” he grumbled. “But that’s fine. I mean, as long as I make it through with decent grades I should be able to get a good job after graduation. Maybe even one in New York so I can be by you again.”

Jeremy blushed and was eternally thankful that Michael couldn’t see it, seeing as he had a boyfriend now. “I hope so. Or I can get a job in who knows what and move to California while you pay for rent with your rich game developer salary.”

“Are you saying you want me to be your platonic sugar daddy?” Michael asked.

‘Sure,” Jeremy said with an awkward laugh. Without the word ‘platonic’ Jeremy would be totally game.

“Well, geez, Jer, remind me in three and a half years and maybe we can set something up,” he joked.

“I’m going to hold you to it,” Jeremy said with a smile.

“I’ve gotta go to class,” Michael told him. “I’ll catch you on the flip side.”

“Talk to you later,” Jeremy promised before hanging up. He whipped his phone at the closet and it made a loud clanging sound.

“What the fuck is your damage?” his roommate asked, looking up from his textbook. Jeremy had been too preoccupied to even notice he was there.

“Sorry,” Jeremy mumbled. “Rough week.”

James, his roommate, snorted. “More like rough semester, dude. You barely leave this room and you’ve been mopey since you got here. Now you’re mopey and angry.”

“You’re never around. You don’t know crap about me,” Jeremy accused.

James raised an eyebrow. “I still live with you. It’s like you spread your sadness through osmosis or something because I always kind of feel bad for you.”

“Okay, maybe it has been a rough semester,” he admitted. “Not everyone had frat bros to lean on. I have exactly one friend here.”

“Have you been putting yourself out there?” James asked.

“I mean, not exactly,” he mumbled.

“Well, there you go,” James replied. “Your only friend here is fucking Penny Delano who only hangs around guys to get back at her ex.”

“What?” he said, blinking. “My only friend here is Brooke Lohst. Penny was my girlfriend for like a week until she found out I was kind of using her to get over someone.”

“The using went both ways,” James informed him. “She got back with her ex last Saturday. And Brooke? Damn, dude, is she single?”

“She has a girlfriend who would cut your balls off if she knew you asked that,” Jeremy told him.

“Understandable,” he said with a nod. “Do you want to go down to the dining center in like an hour?”

“With you?” he asked.

James shrugged. “It’s never too late for some roommate bonding.”

Jeremy smiled. It felt good to have someone new on his side.

* * *

James’ frat was throwing some recruitment event that Saturday and, although Jeremy didn’t really want to join up, he had convinced him to come along and eat the free food they were providing. It was a guys-only event which was apparently a chance for Jeremy to get some “dude-action.” He didn’t really want to hook-up with anyone, but it was the thought that counted.

Michael thought he was out on a date with Penny. They had entered into some weird competition about what they did with their significant others, though it was probably all in Jeremy’s head. Michael had gone on three dates with the Preston in the past week, made out with him in a car, and groped him in a movie theater. Jeremy had gone on two fake dates with Penny, fake kissed and made out with her, and had even seriously fake discussed having sex with her.

Jeremy needed to own up and tell him the truth before things got too out of control. Brooke hadn’t told any of their friends about the breakup, but it was only a matter of time until Chloe visited and noticed that she was notably absent.

In addition to that, it was nearly Thanksgiving. Jeremy wasn’t looking forward to dodging questions coming from everyone except Michael. Christine would see right through him and accidentally call him out on it in front of the others and then Jenna would know, which meant that everyone he had ever met would know too, including Michael.

“Jeremy!” James called, shaking him from his thoughts. “You can sit with us if you want. Grab some food and head on over.”

“Okay,” he replied with a nod, before heading over to the buffet and serving himself some pulled pork and mac n’ cheese. He grabbed a sprite from the cooler and took a seat next to James.

“Guys, this is my roommate, Jeremy,” he introduced. “Jeremy, these are my buddies Todd, Mark, Brad, and Kev.”

“Nice to meet you,” Jeremy said with a smile.

Mark reached forward and shook his hand. “James says you acted in high school. I dig that.”

“Oh, uh thanks,” he said. “I was a theater major for a bit, but it wasn’t for me, so now I’m trying to figure it out.”

“Don’t sweat it too much, bro,” Kev said, slapping him on the back. “As the resident senior at this table, I’d like to let you know I didn’t have a major until halfway through my sophomore year.”

“Good to know,” he said. “Maybe I shouldn’t be so freaked about it then.”

Mark was staring at him and it kind of made him squirm in his seat. He was attractive an all, with light brown hair and dark brown eyes, but Jeremy really wasn’t ready to be in a relationship, as shown by his previous one.

“Jeremy here just got out of a brief relationship with Penny Delano,” James told them, and Jeremy half wished that he didn’t.

The other guys winced all at once. “I’m sorry nobody was there to warn you,” Brad said. “At least you weren’t with her long enough to incite the wrath of her ex. My old roommate slept with her and the guy fucking beat the shit out of him.”

“It was insane,” Todd said with a solemn nod. 

“So you’re on the market?” Mark asked.

Kev snorted. “Very subtle, Mark. Now he’s probably on the market but off the Mark market.”

“Try saying that three times fast,” Brad mumbled.

James grabbed his shoulders and lightly shook him. “Jeremy is a very single man now.”

Mark smirked. “Interesting. You know, I have some good shit in my room if you want to stop by, Jeremy.”

“Christ, Mark,” Todd said, putting his head in his hands. “This is why you’ve never had a long-term relationship.”

“I- I’m flattered,” Jeremy mumbled, knowing full well that his cheeks were probably bright red. “But I don’t know if I’m ready for any of that. I kinda have feelings for one of my friends.”

“Tell us the details, man,” Brad encouraged. “I live for drama.”

“He’s been my best friend since we were really young,” Jeremy told them. “And he’s smart as hell so he’s at USC and I won’t see him until winter break.”

Kev patted his back. “That sucks, my dude. I say you feast on all the free food that we’re providing and then consider sending him a text. If you’re still best friends after all this time, what’s the worst that could happen?”

“He has a boyfriend,” Jeremy replied.

“Ah,” he said. “Maybe wait on that then. Give it time.”

“Yeah, that’s the plan,” he said. “There’s not much else I can do.”

The President of the fraternity tapped on the microphone and gave a short welcome speech for introducing the local band that would be playing for the night. They continued to eat as they enjoyed the show.

Jeremy’s phone buzzed with a text. It was probably just Brooke checking up on him. They hadn’t spoken much lately since he’d been on good terms with his roommate and she had a Calculus exam coming up.

He pulled his phone out of his pocket only to see the text had come from an unknown number. He opened it so he could read it fully.

 

_ (718) 555-1342 (7:18) _

_ Hi! I hope this is still your number, Jeremy. If not, please ignore this message. Jeremy, it’s Mom. I miss you and I’m sorry for leaving. Things between your father and I weren’t going very well and I just couldn’t stay anymore. It was wrong of me to leave without a word and to refuse to see you during the divorce proceedings. I knew that if I saw your face, I might change my mind. I should have asked for partial custody, but I didn’t want you to have to be split between homes, especially when it could mean losing your friend at school. Thanksgiving is next week and I know you and your father always do dinner, but I was wondering if you’d like to come over for brunch and catch up. I really miss you and your little brother really would like to meet you. If you’d like to come by, please text me back or call me and I can give you my address. _

_ I love you so much, _

_ Mom _

 

He dropped his phone and it clattered on his empty plate. Jeremy felt like he was going to be sick. Years had gone by and suddenly she wanted to see him? And he had a brother?

“What’s wrong?” James asked, looking at him with concern. “Did your friend text you or something?”

“I need to go back to the dorms and- and I don’t know what,” he said. “I’ll talk to you later.”

He pushed away from the table and booked it out of the room, running as fast as he could and not stopping until he was in front of the dorms. He swiped into his building and went up to his room. Once he got inside, he let it out, tears streaming down his face. He didn’t know what the fuck he was supposed to do.

Jeremy sat on the ground, back leaned against the closet and scrolled through his contacts until he found Michael’s name. 

Michael picked up right away. “Hey, Jer. I’m on my way to dinner now. Can I call you back?”

“M-Michael,” he stuttered, brushing the tears from his eyes even though they just kept coming.

“Jeremy? What’s wrong?” he asked. “I can eat later. Tell me everything.”

“I-I got a text from m-my m-m-mom,” he explained. “She wants to m-meet after everything she d-did.”

“Who the fuck does she think she is?!” Michael shouted angrily. “She can’t just fucking walk out on you and expect that you’d come crawling back into her lap.”

“I don’t know what to do!” he sobbed.

“Take some deep breaths. It’s okay. You don’t owe her shit,” Michael said in a soft voice. “I’m going to get a fucking plane ticket tonight and I’ll be there tomorrow, okay?”

“No!” he exclaimed. “You can’t give up on school just because my life is shit.”

“Jeremy, you’re more important to me than school or money or anything,” Michael replied. “I’m coming out there as soon as I can get a flight.”

“Please, don’t,” he said. “It’s important to me that school goes well for you. You’re here on the phone.”

Michael sighed. “Are you sure, Jer?”

He was quiet for a moment. Sure, he wanted to see Michael more than anything, but he didn’t want to jeopardize Michael’s future to do it.

“I’m sure,” he whispered.

“Now, do you want to talk about it or do you want to get your mind off of it?” Michael asked.

“The second one,” Jeremy decided.

“Get your computer out and choose a game we can play together online,” Michael told him. “I’m going to go back to the dorms and log in.”

“What about dinner?” he asked.

“I have food in my room,” Michael assured him. “It’s not particularly healthy, but I’m a college student. I’m not supposed to eat healthily.”

“Thanks, Michael,” he breathed.  _ I love you _ , he thought.

“Of course,” Michael replied. “Do you want me to stay on the phone?”

“Yes please.”

“Alright, let me tell you about this fucking project,” Michael began, rambling on and on about this kid in his group who wouldn’t do shit. Jeremy smiled and laughed because Michael was the one person that could always make him laugh, as bad as things might be.

* * *

Jeremy and Michael played games through the night and Jeremy pretty much slept his Sunday away. Brooke stopped by at some point to check on him and force him to shower. He didn’t call his dad. He knew it would wreck him.

On Monday he went to all of his classes like he usually did. A lot of people from out-of-state had left the previous weekend to drive home, deeming the following three days of classes as worth skipping. After classes were over, he walked straight back to his room and buried himself in his homework, ignoring James’ worried glances.

“We should get dinner,” James suggested. “I mean we have a week’s worth of meals and only three days to use them. Might as well go ham.”

“I’m not hungry,” Jeremy mumbled. “You can go without me.”

“You need to eat,” he reminded him, like that would change his mind.

“There’s no point in eating if I’m not hungry,” he replied, not looking up from his homework.

“Will you at least talk to me about what happened?” he asked. “You burst out of the recruitment dinner in such a hurry and you never explained who texted you.”

“It’s really personal,” Jeremy answered.

“Should I get Brooke?” he asked.

“Nope,” he replied. “I don’t want to talk to her about this either. There’s only one person who understands, and I already called him, so it’s fine.”

“Jeremy, I’m no therapist but I’m pretty sure face-to-face interaction can be a good thing when you’re dealing with shit,” James insisted.

“What’s with this sudden interest in my life? Go hang out with your frat bros like you used to. I’ll deal on my own, thanks.”

James sighed. “Do you want me to try to smuggle something out for you?”

Jeremy shook his head and his roommate walked out. Jeremy was thankful for the silence.

About half an hour later, there was knocking on the door, which probably meant that James had forgotten his fucking key again.

He sluggishly pushed himself out of his bed and walked toward the door, opening the door slowly.

The person on the other side rushed inside and wrapped his arms around Jeremy, squeezing tightly.

“Michael?”


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ahhh it's the end. thank y'all for reading and i hope you enjoyed it <3  
> [catch me on tumblr](http://transjonas.tumblr.com/)

Jeremy’s mom left when he was 14 and, well, it was terrible. He was useless and his dad was even worse. It hurt more than anything to have someone that you loved and who you thought loved you to walk away without a word.

The only thing keeping Jeremy together was Michael. He came over every day to play video games and brought Jeremy his homework when he skipped school.

Some days Jeremy couldn’t even motivate himself to get out of bed except to use the bathroom and occasionally eat. On those days, Michael crawled into his bed with him, completely ignoring how terrible he must have smelled, and lay with him. Michael would wrap his arms around him and Jeremy would lay his head on his shoulder. They would lay like that for hours, Jeremy finding solace in being held by his best friend.

Now, Jeremy’s mom was back, and he was in the same boat. They laid together all night, not saying a word, just basking in each other’s warmth. There was nowhere that felt safer than Michael’s arms. In the real world, Jeremy had school issues and personal issues. With Michael, he felt like it was all a game. As a team, they could beat anything.

“We have to get up, Jer,” Michael said softly on Tuesday morning. “You have class today.”

“You’re not at class,” he pointed out, nuzzling into his best friend’s chest.

“I talked to my teachers and made arrangements yesterday morning,” he explained. “You said you didn’t want me to sacrifice my education for you, so I found a way to make it work.”

“I don’t care about my grades. I want to stay in bed with you,” Jeremy blushed a little at the implications of his own words and hoped that Michael didn’t notice.

Michael stroked his hair. “I know, but you need to go to class. You only have two days left and then you’re on break.”

“Then I have to actually deal with the problem at hand,” he sighed. “She wants to see me on Thursday morning.”

“So you’re going?” he asked.

“No, I don’t know,” Jeremy mumbled. “I’ve had all these questions for her over the years and now she reaches out and I’m speechless and without a single idea as to what I’m supposed to do.”

“You could always try to go and leave if it’s too hard,” he suggested. “I mean, is it just going to be you and your mom? I think she’ll get it if you up and left. I mean, she did the same thing.”

He looked up to Michael in surprise. “I didn’t tell you?”

He furrowed his eyebrows. “You didn’t tell me what? You know, you were pretty shaken on the phone.”

“She said my brother wants to meet me,” he told him. “Which means she had another child and probably has a brand new husband.”

His eyes widened. “Oh fuck!” he exclaimed. “Who does that women think she is, leaving one family behind to start over and probably fail another one.”

Was his family not good enough? Was she happier with this new one? What had they done to her to drive her away?

Michael pressed a soft kiss to his hair, shaking him from his thoughts

“I just don’t know what to do,” Jeremy mumbled. “I feel like we must have done something to drive her away and make her start over.”

“You’re perfect, Jeremy,” Michael murmured into his hair.

Jeremy snorted. “Michael, you literally had to fly across the country because I can’t handle myself.”

“That was my decision,” he replied. “I wanted to be with you. It’s a two-player game, even when we’re living 2500 miles away from each other.”

“Okay, Player 1, tell me what to do,” he said.

Michael hummed in contemplation and Jeremy felt the vibrations below his head. “I can’t really tell you what to do, Player 2,” he replied. “But if you don’t want to go alone I’ll go with you and try my hardest not to call her out on her shit.”

Jeremy managed a small smile. “Thank you,” he said. “I’m still not sure what to do, but if I do go, I definitely need you by my side.”

“You don’t have to decide now,” Michael assured him. “However, you do have to get up and shower so you’re ready for class.”

Jeremy groaned. “Michael, I don’t want to go.”

“I’ll go with you,” he offered. “I’ve always wanted to learn about, what classes do you have today?”

“History and Spanish,” he replied.

“Perfect!” he exclaimed. “I already know all about one of those things, now get your lazy ass off of me.”

“Make me,” Jeremy told him.

Michael took his challenge and wrestled with him until they were both lying on the floor and giggling. Jeremy was happy that his roommate was staying with some of his frat bros rather than seeing how Michael and Jeremy really were.

Jeremy ended up pinned to the ground by Michael, which wasn’t very surprising. He had always been the stronger one. He froze under Michael’s strong arms, eyes dropping to his friend’s lips. God, he wanted to kiss them so fucking bad.

He forced himself to look away and push his friend off. “I need to get in the shower.”

“Yeah, just like I said,” Michael mumbled, seeming off.

Grabbing his shower caddy and a fresh set of clothes, Jeremy took off for the bathroom without a word. He needed to keep things with Michael strictly on the friend level. Michael was in a relationship and he couldn’t let his stupid crush fuck that up.

* * *

They both caught a ride back home with Brooke on Wednesday night. Jeremy sat in the front and Michael sat directly behind him. They were only about two feet apart, but it felt like miles.

“So, Michael, how did I have no idea you were here until you climbed into my car?” Brooke asked. “I thought you weren’t coming home for Thanksgiving.”

He shrugged. “Jeremy needed me so I made it happen.”

Brooke gave Jeremy a pointed look that he chose to ignore.

“Brooke, I need advice from a party outside everything,” Jeremy said.

“Yes?”

“Should I go meet up with my mom tomorrow?” he asked. “You didn’t know her when she was around and you didn’t talk to me until I was over her leaving.”

“Honestly, I don’t really think I should be making this decision for you,” she replied. “But, yes. I think you should meet with her. You’re going to regret it if you don’t because then you’ll never know.”

“You don’t know how he was when she left,” Michael grumbled. “She doesn’t have the right to text him out of the blue and expect him to run back into her arms.”

“He needs closure though,” Brooke reasoned. “He got over it before and if he doesn’t get the closure he needs now, he has to start from the beginning.”

Jeremy nodded. “I think I’ll go then.”

“I’ll try to keep my mouth shut,” Michael promised.

Brooke raised an eyebrow. “You’re coming too?”

“Of course I am,” he replied. “We’re a team. That’s why I’m here.”

She smirked and nodded. “You’re such a good friend, Michael.”

Jeremy ignored her and pulled out his phone, pulling up the message from his mom that he had left unanswered for the past few days.

 

_ Jeremy (5:23) _

_ I’ll be there tmw if you text me an address. M is coming with and we’ll see how long I stay. _

_ Birther (5:24) _

_ Our address is 125 N Lockwood St. in Newark. Also, M? _

_ Jeremy (5:24) _

_ Michael. _

_ Birther (5:25) _

_ Oh, of course. We’d be delighted to have you two over around 9:30 tomorrow. _

 

Jeremy chose not to respond. He wasn’t really all that ecstatic about being invited over. At least he could ride in Michael’s ugly car when they went there. Now, to face his biggest challenge. Telling his dad.

* * *

“You’re what?!” his dad exclaimed. “She seriously has the audacity to-”

“Dad,” he interrupted. “I’m not all too happy about it either, okay? I want some closure. Besides, I wouldn’t have agreed to go if Michael wasn’t coming with so I’ll be fine.”

“I just don’t think it’s a good idea,” he grumbled, crossing his arms. “I know I was a wreck for years after she left, but you weren’t doing well for a while either, Jeremy. She can’t do that to you and then ask for your forgiveness.”

“She’s not asking for forgiveness. She’s just reaching out,” he protested. “Trust me, I could never forgive her for walking out on us.”

“Yet you’re standing there and defending her,” he pointed out. “And you’re planning on going to her house tomorrow.”

“I shouldn’t have told you,” Jeremy sighed. “I knew you’d be mad or upset or sad. I just didn’t want you to find out from someone else.”

“How sure you about this?” he asked.

“I’m not sure at all, but I’m willing to give it a shot,” he replied. “Brooke said it might finally give me some closure.”

Jeremy’s dad shook his head. “I just don’t want you getting hurt.”

“She can’t hurt me any more than she already has,” he reasoned.

“For your sake, I hope it goes well,” Jeremy’s dad said with a sigh. “You deserve to be happy, Jeremy.”

“Thanks, Dad,” he replied with a small smile.

“So, are you going to talk to Michael while he’s here?” his dad asked. “You know, about your feelings.”

Jeremy flushed deep red. “He has a boyfriend, Dad.”

“You should just do it. Get everything out in the air,” he advised.

“I don’t want to ruin things between us,” he rationalized, even though Michael probably wouldn’t be as freaked as he was picturing.

“I’ve known Michael since he was a kid. I saw you two grow up together. Nothing is going to be ruined,” he told him. “Go for it, Jeremy. It’s the same deal as you visiting your mother. It’s a risk, but you need closure.”

“I’ll think about it,” Jeremy relented.

His dad patted him on the back. “Sleep well, kid,” he said. “You have a big day tomorrow.”

* * *

Jeremy did not, in fact, sleep well. In fact, he barely slept at all. Between his mom and Michael, millions of possibility and scenarios were running through his head, making him more anxious by the second.

Michael picked him up at like 8:45 and Jeremy was basically dead on his feet as he sluggishly made his way to his car.

He looked down to find two iced coffees in the cupholder.

“You got me coffee?” he asked.

Michael shrugged. “I had a feeling you probably didn’t sleep very well. I should’ve stayed over last night, but my family was desperate to see me even though I blew all my money on plane tickets.”

“I should have offered to pay you back,” Jeremy groaned as Michael pulled out of his driveway and started down the street. “I’ll save up and send you the money when I have it.”

“Don’t worry about it Jer,” Michael replied. “I may be here for you, but I wouldn’t have shelled out all the money to come back if it wasn’t something I really wanted to do.”

“You’re the greatest person on the planet,” Jeremy said honestly.

Jeremy could have hallucinated it, but he could swear that Michael’s cheeks flushed a little redder than they normally were.

“I’m sure your girlfriend wouldn’t be all that happy to hear that I’m still at the top of the hierarchy,” he mumbled.

Jeremy raised an eyebrow. “I thought you would have figured it out but her never stopping by, but I don’t exactly have a girlfriend anymore. We dated for like a week and a half. I just got competitive and pretended we were still together.”

Michael let out a loud laugh. “Are you fucking kidding me, Jeremy?”

“No, I’m being perfectly serious,” Jeremy replied, crossing his arms.

“I only went on two dates with Preston,” Michael confessed. “So, same hat. We’re lowkey the most pathetic people alive, Jeremy.”

Jeremy smiled. “That’s why we have to stick together.”

Michael reached over and squeezed his hand briefly. “We may be disasters, but at least we’re disasters together.”

“I don’t know what I’d do without you,” Jeremy admitted. “Actually, I do know, but it’s not fantastic.”

Michael shot a concerned look his way. “Why? Did something happen?”

“I hate college,” he admitted. “I spent most of the semester doing absolutely nothing and then I get out and I can’t enjoy anything because I wish you were there too. And on top of that, I have no idea what I want to be studying.”

“You shouldn’t go back,” Michael told him. “Stick out the semester and then leave if it’s making you so unhappy.”

“I  _ have  _ to go back,” he replied. “My dad expects me to and so my friends and I don’t have a job which will make people more disappointed and-”

“Jer,” Michael interrupted, resting his hand on his shoulder and briefly glancing over. “You need to do what’s best for you. I think you should look into community college.”

“But I got into a four year,” he protested.

“So?” Michael asked. “You’re too good for a community college?”

“No, it’s just not for me,” he mumbled. “I mean, Rich and Jenna go there and they are doing perfectly fine but I’m not-”

“Stupid?” Michael supplied. “They aren’t either, Jeremy. They’re just taking a different path than you are. Your current college isn’t for you. Community college will give you a chance to explore different majors at a cheaper cost and you can still live at home with your dad.”

“But, you’re doing so much better than me!” he exclaimed.

Michael shook his head. “I’m just doing it differently. Don’t compare yourself to others, Jer. Especially not me. You have to be your own person. The loudest voice has to be your own, remember?”

Jeremy nodded. “You’re right. I’ll definitely think about it. I’ve already told Dad I’d rather live at home anyway. It’ll be better if I don’t have to commute so far.”

They bumped fists and suddenly the car came to a stop.

“What happened?” Jeremy asked.

Michael raised an eyebrow and nodded at the house in front of them. “We’re here.”

“Shit,” Jeremy mumbled, sinking down into his seat. “Is it too late to turn around and go home?”

“Not is that’s what you really want,” Michael replied.

“Fuck, it’s not,” he grumbled, unbuckling his seatbelt and pushing the car door open. Michael did the same before walking around to stand next to Jeremy as he began his death march toward his mother’s house.

Jeremy balled up his fists, squeezing them so hard that his nails were digging into his palms.

“Relax,” Michael whispered, reaching down to hold his hand and squeezing it lightly. “We’re doing this together, remember? It’s going to be fine.”

He took a deep breath and nodded. Michael was right. What was the worst that could happen?

They made it to the door and Michael looked to him for permission before dropping Jeremy’s hand and ringing the doorbell. He supposed it was better that way. Who knew how his mom would react to her son dating a guy? Not that he would be good enough for Michael anyway.

She answered the door with a huge smile on her face. Her eyes were the same as Jeremy’s except hers were filled with joy and his were filled with terror and confusion.

“I’m so happy you decided to come, Jeremy,” she said warmly. “And you too, Michael. Come on in!”

They walked inside and Michael flashed an icy glare in her direction as they passed by her. They took their shoes off and handed her their jackets to hang in the closet.

She moved in to hug Jeremy, but he held his hand up to stop her. “Please, don’t,” he said in a quiet voice.

Her smile faltered for a moment. “I’m sorry, I thought-”

“You thought wrong, Natalie,” Michael interjected.

She raised her eyebrows. Jeremy supposed that they both had been fairly quiet and well-behaved kids.

Jeremy squeezed his shoulder. “Michael, chill. It’s fine.”

Jeremy’s mom mustered up another smile. “Shall we go into the kitchen and meet everyone?”

Michael looked to Jeremy for an answer.

He shrugged. “Let’s go I guess.”

They followed her into the kitchen. There was a man standing there with salt and pepper hair and a perfect smile. There was a small child gripping onto his pants. A small child with the same blue eyes as Jeremy.

The man stepped forward and stuck out his hand toward Jeremy. “It’s nice to meet you. I’m Tim Harris, your step-father.”

Jeremy froze. He felt like he was going to throw up or pass out or both.

Michael took his hand instead and shook it. “I’m Michael, Jeremy’s best friend. I don’t think he’s much in the mood for hugging or hand-shaking and I can’t say I blame him.”

“Uh, okay,” the man muttered, seemingly confused.

“This is your brother, Caden,” his mom introduced.

“Half-brother,” Jeremy amended.

“Cam, come and say hi to your big brother, Jeremy,” she said softly to him.

“Hi,” he said softly.

“Hello,” Jeremy echoed, unsure what to make of the child in front of him.

“Well, now that introductions are settled, let’s get some food,” his mom said, clapping her hands together. “We’ve got cinnamon buns, cheesy scrambled eggs, fruit casserole, and-”

“How old is he?” Jeremy interrupted.

“What?” she asked.

“How old is Camden?” he repeated.

The child in question looked up at him and wiggled around five fingers.

Michael raised his eyebrows.

“He’s five?” Jeremy asked.

“I-” his mom began. “Yes. Camden is five.”

Jeremy’s heart stung in his chest. “But you only left four years ago.”

“Jeremy,” she said softly. “It’s not like that.”

“It’s not like what?” he asked. “It’s not like you cheated on Dad and had a secret family behind our backs? It’s not like you left because you chose them over us?”

“Your dad and I were fighting a lot,” she reasoned. “You were old enough to see that.”

“When couples fight, they try to work it out!” he shouted. “They don’t cheat on their husbands and then ditch one family for a new one! You might see this as a do-over, but it’s too late. You left me and that makes you a shitty mother!”

An expression of horror flickered across her face. Tim took Camden out of the room.

“Jeremy,” she replied. “I love you. I promise. I never should have left you.”

“You never should have left either of us!” he exclaimed. “You fucking broke Dad and you obviously don’t give a shit. And as for me, I have no idea where I’d be without Michael because he was the only one there for me when you left without a fucking word.”

“Honey-” she began.

“You ruined my life,” he spat. “I’ve been trying to learn to love myself again because you never really loved me. Not as much as you should have. I came here to get closure and now I have it. I wish I could hate you, but I can’t because you’re my fucking Mom, as terrible of a mother as you may be.” He turned to Michael. “Let’s go home.”

“At least take some food with you,” she insisted.

“We don’t want it,” he replied, walking back toward the hallway. He and Michael grabbed their coats out of the closet and put on their shoes before marching back toward the car.

Michael wasted no time in pulling out of the driveway and getting back onto the road.

“That was fucking badass,” he stated. “Like, I can’t believe you did that Jeremy. She fucking deserved it but you’re usually so polite and shit!”

He shrugged. “She needs to know that she made her choice and it’s too late to take it back. Now, pull into the next Taco Bell you see.”

“What?” he replied, sending a weird look Jeremy’s way.

“I’m starving,” he explained. “If it weren’t for my own pride, I would have definitely taken her food and left.”

Michael nodded. “Breakfast Crunchwraps and Baja Blast it is.”

“Thank you for coming with,” Jeremy said with a smile.

“Of course,” Michael replied. “Even if you didn’t need me.”

“I definitely needed you. I’m braver with you around,” he explained.

“We’re a couple of codependent assholes, huh?” Michael replied with a grin.

“I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

* * *

It was Friday. Michael was flying back to California in two days and Jeremy hadn’t told him a thing. After their disaster of a brunch, they ate their Taco Bell breakfast and then went their separate ways for Thanksgiving dinner. Michael had to go to his grandma’s and Jeremy had dinner with his dad. It was nice, but Jeremy’s thoughts were still racing with everything that had been happening.

Now it was Friday night and everyone was at Chloe’s for a small party that consisted only of their friend group and a shit ton of alcohol.

Michael sat beside Jeremy and casually touched him, just as he probably always did, but now Jeremy was about 300 times more aware of it and he felt like his heart was going to burst out of his chest every time their hands brushed together.

“Let’s play spin the bottle!” Jenna exclaimed.

Chloe wrinkled her nose. “No offense, but I’m never planning on kissing another boy in my life.”

“Jenna, are you sure you don’t just want to play so you can kiss people?” Christine asked in the nicest voice possible.

Rich apparently liked part of the idea because he had crawled into Jake’s lap and they were once again heavily making out.

Jenna looked to Brooke, but she shook her head. “I have to stick with Chloe. I mean, she  _ is _ my girlfriend.”

“What about you boys?” she asked Michael and Jeremy.

Jeremy raised an eyebrow. “Jenna, there’s only three of us.”

“Yeah, I’d rather not,” Michael mumbled, scratching the back of his next.

“Good to know that everyone here is boring,” Jenna huffed. “Except maybe Rich and Jake, but they’re on thin ice.”

“We should play a board game!” Brooke suggested. “Chloe’s family has a bunch of them. I come over for family game night sometimes and-”

“You aren’t supposed to tell them about family game night,” Chloe interrupted. “You were supposed to take that to your grave, Brooke!”

“Chloe, there’s nothing embarrassing about-” Brooke began.

“Are we talking about Valentine family game night?” Jake asked after disconnecting his lips from Rich’s. “Man, I have some  _ stories _ from when we were dating.”

“Jake Dillinger, I will literally cut your dick off,” Chloe threatened.

“Hey!” Rich shouted. “Nobody touches Jake’s dick in any way or form except me!”

“I’m going to go outside and get some air,” Jeremy announced. He loved his friends, but sometimes he got overwhelmed by being around too many people at once.

Michael followed him outside. “Are you okay?” he asked.

“Yeah,” Jeremy breathed. “It was just getting kind of stuffy in there.”

He nodded in understanding. “Did you talk to your dad about transferring to community college next semester?”

“Yeah,” he confirmed. “He thinks that it’s a good idea, so I think it might happen.”

Michael smiled. “That’s so good, Jeremy.”

“With all the money we’re saving, I might be able to fly out for spring break,” he said with a smile. “I mean, I should get a job too, but yeah.”

“Really?!” Michael exclaimed.

He nodded.

Michael lunged forward and hugged him tightly. “Oh my god, there’s so much I want to show you. It’s going to be amazing.”  
“You could take me to the most boring place on the planet and it would still be amazing,” Jeremy replied.

“I mean, we’re best friends, of course it will be,” Michael said.

Jeremy took a deep breath. Now was his shot. Michael would be back in California soon. Now they were alone and now quite drunk yet.

“Michael?”

“Yeah?”

He took a deep breath. “I’m sorry if this is like, super weird for you, but I think I’m in love with you.”

Michael blinked for a moment as Jeremy’s heart slowly began to sink in his chest. “ _ You _ love  _ me _ ?”

Jeremy nodded. “I mean, I get it if you don’t like me back and I hope we can still be-”

He was interrupted by another set of lips on his own. Jeremy brought his hands up to play with Michael’s hair. It was sloppy and Michael’s glasses were sort of in the way. After all, Michael had never kissed anyone before and Jeremy hadn’t kissed a boy before. It was still perfect to Jeremy because it was  _ Michael _ .

They pulled away from each other, a bit breathlessly and leaned their foreheads together.

“You have no idea how long I’ve waited for that,” Jeremy panted.

“I’ve probably waited longer,” Michael replied. “Why have we never done that before?”

“Because I’m stupid,” Jeremy laughed.

Michael shook his head. “Jeremy Heere, you are anything but stupid. Besides, I’ve been wanting to kiss you forever too. I love you, Jeremy.”

“Why do we have to live so far apart?” he groaned. “You realize that, after you fly out on Sunday, we’re going to have to wait three more weeks to do that again.”

“At least we’ll have something to look forward to,” he reasoned.

Jeremy bit his lip. “Are you sure we’re going to make it even though we live on opposite sides of the country?”

“Well, I can’t guarantee anything,” Michael started, “but even if I was halfway across the world, I still would be yours.”

He nodded. “There’s nobody else for me. It’s you, Michael. I think it’s always been.”

“Boyf?” Michael asked.

“Riends,” Jeremy confirmed.

“Well, let’s take Chloe’s part by storm then,” he said with a grin, slipping his hand into Jeremy’s. “We were already amazing as best friends, but as boyfriends we’re going to be absolutely unstoppable.”

They walked back into her house hand in hand with the biggest smiles on their face. Michael was right. College was pretty dope. Jeremy was finally starting to figure out a better path for himself by transferring to community college, he had some super fucking awesome friends, and now he had the best boyfriend on the planet. Things couldn’t get much better.


End file.
